Choosing

Jack R talked this morning at the Zendog about seeing and realizing the illusion that my experience and reality are the same. When we do this we see that my story about my experience is just one of many possible stories.

What happens after that? Who knows. The wisdom of the Zendog says, "Be responsible for your choice of possibilities and then see what there is to be done."

Enjoying meditation

Our Southcoast zen group has been sitting every morning between the holidays again this week. One of our discussion questions is, "What has shifted in your practice this year?"

This morning I realized that one of the changes in the my practice of late is that I often enjoy meditation. For so long meditation was a serious thing, almost a burden at times. My mind would wonder and I would almost yell at myself. Or I would subtly judge myself for not keeping the breathing and simple observation of meditation constant.

This year I've learned to just let go of whatever happens during meditation; and to not judge myself or my practice. Ergo it becomes an enjoyment - often a source of joy.

This change was made possible by a series of discussions within our meditation group this year - so thank you to all the members of the Southcoast sangha.

Winter vs. Christmas

Today turned from rain to snow, always wind blowing hard. Tomorrow is Christmas Eve. Which is more true?

from Meister Eckhart

God is not attained by a process of addition to anything in the soul, but by a process of subtraction.- Meister Eckhart

How beautiful. Take away my protection and make me vulnerable and then I can receive the gifts of love and grace and be grateful.

Retreat haiku

At the Southcoast retreat weekend before last one of our practices was in haiku writing. The theme of the retreat was impermanence. Here is a link to some of the haiku written that day.

http://southcoastzendog.googlepages.com/fall2007retreathaiku

Not knowing

Embracing "Not Knowing" has changed my experience of life. Not knowing what will happen next - easy in some cases, damn difficult in others. Not knowing how I will feel. Not knowing what another person is feeling, why they are doing something the way they are, why they are even wearing the darn shirt they have one, let alone what lies deep in their emotional well.

Embracing not knowing brings freedom from judging which brings wisdom and compassion, the two gifts the Buddha promised to those who wake up. Thanks Big B.

early winter haiku

Snow covers the way,
The walk hidden within white;
Until she returns.

A Local Leader

I had a meeting with a local political official today about an urgent and acute issue facing our community. The official was open and honest in his communication. He was creative and innovative in his thinking about solutions. He clearly did not think he already knew all the answers and genuinely sought out ideas. He asked for help and for resources.

I came out of the meeting wanting to offer him anything I could to support him as a leader in solving this problem. I was energized to give. I am excited to do all I can. What a difference his attitude and approach made for me. He is very intelligent but it is not his intelligence that makes him a great leader. It was asking me to contribute and knowing that my contribution will be valued.

Thank you.

Say Shhh to Should

In talking with Bobbi this long, wonderful weekend, we were both off on Friday also, she shared about totally deleting the word "should" from our vocabulary. She was reminded of this from a book on language she's reading.

When she was older and wiser, my mother used to say, "Don't Should on Yourself!" I think she got that from some mental health book or group. Funny and true.

So, this morning while driving to work Bobbi and I agreed to "Say shhh to Should." Using the word Should just automatically disempowers, makes excuses for not being in action, creates guilt, shits on yourself, etc. Try it out - delete the word from your vocabulary.

As the televangelists say, "Make the pledge now, Say Shhh to Should." See what happens. Don't let any guilt or judgement get in the way. Do it, observe what happens, do it some more. Find our true selves.

Perhaps the last (with more in between)

The full moon reclaims an eye.

the rain an ear, anise our nose.

A muddy foot opens the door

we enter and never again close.

Verse second

The tilt of our earth is no mistake

we are what we are in full due cause.

Her seasons are grace, her nights awake

nocturnes within, without and away.

Raking at dusk

Tonight I begin a poem:

The doom began with the streetlamp,
when the moon lost our eye’s easy glance;
when we found sight for ground-dark leaves
not illumined in time’s half-moon dance.

We are gates

How do we exist?
Opening and closing gates -
Wind blows east and west.

From brother Jack Ricchiuto

#35 from "Conscious Becoming" (Jack's latest book - a modern Tao Te Ching)

Whether we like it or not,
whether we approve of it or not,
Whether it makes sense to us or not,
things are the way they are,
because they have become fully possible.

And if in the process, we realize
that what we do right now
makes something else more fully possible,
we discover our power,
and dwell in a calm sense of possibility.

Pain and suffering

I don't suffer well. Or perhaps it is that I don't deal with pain well but suffer well. How do I change this?

Waking up with a Hi.

How would we live our life if we realized that every aspect of our lives, "external" and "internal", was truly impermanent? We discussed this question at the Zendog last night.

My answer was, "I'd wake up in the morning and say to myself, "Hi, who are you?"

Working outside today

Bobbi and I worked outside the house today. I raked leaves and cut the grass. But this year was different. This year I planned to put the leaves in my new compost bin and I was using my new push-mower.

Because of this I do think I felt different about the work. I felt that the work was part of the cycle of earth and the season. Returning dead leaves to become humus. Using my own power and not that of a gas engine to trim the grass and leaving the clippings on the yard to decompose. This is a way of being in harmony with the way things are.

Power is not a human trait that takes us anywhere near happiness; mindfulness of the way and discipline to be in harmony are. Good times.

Slow down and sit to slow down.

I've read about three basic "Buddhist personality types" (I use that phrase with trepidation that it will become used as such.) They are based upon the Three Poisons: Greed (desire), Hate (aversion) and Delusion (confusion); thus people whose natural tendencies are either to Desire, Judge or be Confused. Think about people you know. Which tendency do they predominantly possess? Fun, huh? Now stop that game, it goes nowhere skillful.

We all possess each of these three tendencies. Each will manifest through our thoughts, words and actions dependent on the specific circumstances of a moment and the karma we bring to that moment. Faster than the speed of thought; thus faster than the speed of words and actions. We are controlled by our desires, our judgements, our delusions unless we slow down.

In Zazen we sit and slow down. Yesterday at the Zendog this chant found me while sitting: "No desire, no judgement, no confusion." I was not denying my human nature. I was not wishing them away. I was realizing that in the pure moment itself there is no desire, no judgement, no confusion; there is my breath, my observation of the three poisons as they may arise and my release of them as they arise - all in the moment. (Thanks Jack and Pete for the support.)

May we slow down and observe ourselves before thought, speech or deed, becoming skillful in our thoughts, our words and our actions. For this I am grateful.

Trust opened my eyes

Tonight I went to the Flowing Water Sangha for 1/2 hour evening meditation. The group meets just around the corner from my house but I've only been there for special weekend events, never during the week.

Tonight I'm a bachelor and got home from work dragging a funky mood around with me. I stopped and thought about heading over, realized that sitting would be a helpful response to my mood; and that I am committed to sitting so why wouldn't I go sit.

It was a small group. We sat for half an hour and were done. I got a hug and headed for home. Once outside I heard geese, looked up and saw a V of geese not more than 50 feet above, heading north of all directions. Beauty in flight. Beauty inside.

All was perfect when got home. Just as all was perfect when I had arrived home earlier in the evening also. Blessings do not recognize blindness. Trust opened my eyes.

Effort and ease

We talked at the Zendog last night about effort and ease; about how the negative emotions we bring to a task make it difficult and full of suffering. What a great practice it is to notice any negative emotions we are bringing before we start a task or as we undertake it, to let them go and to do what there is to be done with ease and minimal suffering.

Speaking Truth

Why is China going ballistic over the Dalai Lama being awarded the Congressional Medal of Honor?

The Minister for Religious Affairs (sic) (there's the first clue) says that he is a splitist and has no following. This statement came on the sidelines of the "Peoples" Congress (another clue) that is currently taking place in Beijing. He claims that the DL's statements against Tibetan independence but for significant autonomy are just a lie, a cover for independence.

Well - who do we believe? The above mentioned minister? May he be blessed with the happiness that comes with truth himself. Or the DL? A human like us but one who speaks truth more often than most of us.

Let's all of us speak truth today; to ourselves and to others. Blessings .

A semicolon a day ...

What would it mean to "Live every day as if it were your last"?

But first, why live every day as if it were your last? Because it could be? Sure. Because it is? Yes again, in the sense that we are never the same, every changing. I never drink coffee, I drink coffee now; I am 30, I am 50 now; my parents live in Lorain, my parents are dead now. Each change a gift that calls for me to be grateful. Each change leads to another - thankfully.

For me these days each day is another opportunity to:

• Read more poetry
• Drink coffee
• Make friends anew
• Be present to now
• And most importantly make use of semicolons; not everyone's cup of tea but one that brings me inestimable joy.

Writers & the War Against Nature

Read this essay by Gary Snyder: http://www.resurgence.org/2006/snyder239.htm

I just read it and sharing it is a must. Thanks.

Time alone

Time alone is so important to me. I love my wife and enjoy spending all kinds of time with her. As I do with the two people who call me "dad". I enjoy my friends, both in person and more and more these days in facsimile. Yet if I do not have time alone I often feel like I can't breathe. I like breathing. Breathing likes me.

Cooling skys

Oh how sorrow comes,
Red eyes honor its visit.
Cooling skys are pink.

How happy now is

August's full moon fades
while summer shimmers silver;
How happy now is!

Why Insecure

Why insecure we humans?

But first, what is our reaction when insecure?

That's the key to the Why question.

Be brave.

I'm grateful for slowing down

From this month's Gratefulness.org newsletter:
"If gratefulness did nothing more than to slow us down, it would still be one of the most powerful tools for transformation that the world has ever known."

I am grateful for slowing down and walking home from work today. I encountered three different friends, two that I rarely see, chatted with each, and am happier tonight because of doing so. I'm also grateful for stopping in at The Gypsy. I saw Catherine who just got home from Sweden and is back in class at law school already, and met Travis, a new barista; we exchanged stories about urban living, going to CSU and knowing Norm Krumholz. Thank you to all.

Relating to Rain

How do we relate to rain?
- Call it The Rain
- Stormwater run-off, flooding
- "We needed that rain"
- Drive slower, ride bikes faster
- Grumble and grouse
- Hate the grey skies
- Love the sound of it
- "Not on Monday morning!"

How does rain relate to us? It rains. Then it doesn't.

How could we relate to rain? Raining. Thank U.

Emerson on blogging

Instructions from Emerson on blogging:

"The way to speak and write what shall not go out of fashion is to speak and write sincerely. The argument which has not power to reach my own practice, I may well doubt, will fail to reach yours. But take Sidney's maxim: "Look in they heart and write." He that writes to himself writes to an eternal public. That statement only is fit to be made public which you have come at in attempting to satisfy your own curiosity. The writer who takes his subject from his ear and not from his heart would know that he has lost as much as he seems to have gained, and when the empty book has gathered all in its praise, and half the people say - "what poetry, what genius!" it still needs fuel to make fire"

- Essay IV, Spiritual Laws

Metaphor as practice

At the Zendog this morning we talked about how metaphors in Zen are always pointing to practice.

The metaphor: The pond becomes clear with the muck is left to settle.

The practice: Our minds become clear with zazen. When we sit we let go of all the muck. Everything we think important enough to cling to, creating suffering, we learn to let go of. Creating a clear mind of awareness.

Each Moment Passes

Each moment passes,
some sweaty sticky, some on August's breeze;
all were never now.

Riding as fast as I am riding.

Riding my bike on Saturday I practiced my koan.

I was grateful for going as fast as I was going. For being able to ride - healthy enough, strong enough.

I then became grateful for not going any faster and for not going any slower. The former was more difficult than the later as I almost always want to be riding faster.

The practice allowed me to shift into awareness of the present and to be happy with it, with riding just as fast as I was riding. It was a moment of true presence, unencumbered with expectations, lacking grasping for things to be other than they were. Nirvana on two wheels. Really.

Gratefulness Koan

Here's a practice I am taking up:
Be grateful for the way things are and be grateful for the way things are not.

It came to me during Friday morning meditation at the Zendog yesterday. Jan and I talked about it during dharma discussion. It is staying with me like a koan does I suppose. I'm not sure what it means or what it will result in but I've heard that's the way of a koan; not rational, breaking through the rational construct we create, opening to the way things are. Also, it's all about the present. All about the present. All about the present.

So, what can I say about this practice so far?

• I am grateful for the memory of my parents. Am I grateful that my parents are now dead? No. I will practice to be so.
• I am grateful that I do sitting meditation three or four times a week. I am grateful that I don't sit every day.
• I am grateful for my job. I am grateful that I don't look forward to going to work every morning.
• I am grateful for my overall health. I am grateful for my neuropathy.

All in the present? Smack no. I am grateful to accept and not judge things the way they are right now.

Emerson's Directions

"Place yourself in the middle of the stream of power and wisdom which flows into you as life, place yourself in the full center of that flood, then you are without effort impelled to truth, to right, and a perfect contentment. Then you put all gainsayers in the wrong. Then you are the world, the measure of right, of truth, of beauty."

"Each man has his own vocation. The talent is in the call. There is one direction in which all space is open to him. He has faculties silently inviting him thither to endless exertion. He is like a ship in a river; he runs against obstructions on every side but one; on that side, all obstruction is taken away, and he sweeps serenely over God's depths into an infinite sea."



Essay IV: Spiritual Laws

Forgivness of Self

During our dharma discussion at the Zendog yesterday we talked about forgiveness. Listen:

Was forgiveness part of the Buddha's teaching? Maybe not.

Can one really forgive another? Is not the act based upon an illusion and grasping? The illusion being that we know what even took place. Were we so present to the offending act to have no doubt as to intention, emotion and thinking? No. If we were then we'd know there was no offense, just hurdles to that person's full expression of love. We grasp the illusion to avoid the pain.

What about forgiving ourselves? There's some bean on that vine. We can wipe clean our hearts by forgiving ourselves. We can open our hearts by forgiving ourselves. In opening we can then witness what seeps out, what arises. Pain, regret, shame, lost love, lost time, loss. Witness and let go. Because we witness only in the present perhaps we may not be deluded. Let us hope so.

Thank you dharma brothers and sister. Welcome Holly.

Blame

I overhead this conversation between the jay and the bat early this morning:

What does blame do? Makes victim and oppressor.

What does blame hide? The pain of both.

How is blame dissolved? Forgiveness of self and the other; love of self and the other; gratefulness.

Katie's birthday

Today is my daughter's nineteenth birthday. Katie is an amazing young woman and I am incredibly proud to be her father. I am grateful for every moment.

There is nothing I know like becoming a parent and then having to let go. Like much of life the secret to being happy is to keep loving after letting go.

I love you Katie.

Crickets return

The crickets return
In full ochestra with July's heat;
We lay in the yard.

What's happened to The Renaissance Man?

When young I often envisioned myself leading the life of a Renaissance Man. One who among other things:

• Read often, not just what I enjoyed but also what would expand my knowledge and lead to wisdom.
• Had knowledge of science, art, politics and ethics.
• Considered myself as never knowing enough.
• Considered myself as having only one point of view among many.
• Included the physical arts among the arts.
• Knew more than one language.

Flash forward, what's happened? Well, this ideal is now titled The Integral Person and has a low value in Amerika, outside of academia where more illusion due to belief in specialization exists than wisdom. And being a responsible adult I now have goals in these categories. LOL.

My wisdom to date? I believe that two most important qualities of the Integral Person are to laugh at oneself and to love others. This opens the door through which all practices lead to wisdom.

What's the biggest obstacle to becoming Integral Persons? For middle-class Amerikans it is our jobs. Whether due to greed or to pride or misplaced commitments we give too much time and energy to our work; leaving too little time and energy for other practices. STOP IT so you can begin other practices. Just pick one, or a new one, steal the time and energy from your job and start practicing.

Let me offer two resources for aspiring Integral Persons:
1. Ken Wilbur's Integral Naked site at www.integralnaked.org
2. Jack Ricchiuto's new book, Conscious Becoming available at www.DesigningLife.com

And one inspiration. I have a friend in his mid-fifties who in the past five years has learned a new language, fallen in love with the Earth, begun creating his life in a sustainable way, learned photography, bought a new bike, started an on-line column, entered a new love relationship, and created a sustainable living affinity group with the coolest name created in Cleveland this year (way cooler than Cleveland+) among similar practices. If you know him you are inspired to expand your practices.

Rockin' with my Daughter

My daughter gave me the privilege of going to a rock concert with her last week. She's eighteen, nineteen a week from today, I'm ... - doesn't matter how old I am does it, I'm her dad - always old to her.


We saw Collective Soul, Live and Counting Crows. I love Live - transcendent, hard rock. Almost every song ended up with Ed K wailing but it's wailing about love and wisdom and dolphins. Katie was there mostly for Counting Crows - Adam D was too dramatic at times but very into his audience, who loved he and boys.

I was just proud that my daughter didn't worry about looking uncool by hanging with her old man dad and honored that she'd rock with me.

It's always cathartic to rock!

Peace One Day

September 21 is the international day for peace: Peace One Day. Here's the story from its founder, Jeremy Gilley. Check out the banner at the top of my blog.

July 2007
Dear Friends,
I founded Peace One Day in 1999 to document my efforts to create an annual day of global ceasefire and non-violence with a fixed calendar date. In 2001, POD achieved its primary objective. United Nations General Assembly resolution (A/Res/55/282) was unanimously adopted by UN member states, formally establishing an annual day of global ceasefire and non-violence on the UN International Day of Peace, fixed in the global calendar on 21 September – Peace Day.
With the Day in place, POD’s main aim is to raise awareness of Peace Day 21 September. POD is a non-profit organisation, impartial and independent of any government, political persuasion, corporation or religious creed.
Last year on 21 September, 27.6 million people from 200 countries did something for Peace Day. I hope you’ll make your own commitment for Peace Day and log it on this website. By working together there will be Peace One Day. We look forward to hearing from you.
With thanks and best wishes
In peace
Jeremy Gilley

The Moments of the Day

Which moments of the day do you enjoy the most as they take place? Laughing, accomplishing, talking with friends, being reminded of those now passed whom we loved dearly? These are some of mine.

Which moments of the day do you look back at with pride? Rising to the challenge, non-attachment to the rising negative emotions, realizations of wisdom? These are some of mine.

What if the two merged closer and closer together - enjoyment in the moment and relishment of the memory? Being present, without attachment, growing wise. It's easier than you think. Just merge the two. They are only different in our mind, in our emotions, not in reality.

My Green Month

Check out my friend Chuck Ackerman's monthly blog called 'My Green Month" on Green City Blue Lake: http://www.gcbl.org/spirit/needs-and-desires/my-green-month

Chuck recently decided to take personal action to live a greener life. He's an inspiring guy. He recently convened a group of such "get greener" folks, the group is called GangGreen. Best new name since BandAid in my opinion.

Peace and joy to you.

"A Good Day" with Brother David Steindl-Rast

Guaranteed to transform your attitude and experence of today.

Remembering when ...

I remember when ...
- the cat was so small that he fit in the palm of my hand.
- we had our family reunions on Pelee Island.
- ping pong was a common family sport.
- in the summer we left the house in the morning came home for lunch, left again, came home for dinner, left again, and came home at dark.
- living life became more complicated.

I'm simplifying now.

Dog days and baseball.

I'm sitting on the back porch listening to baseball on the radio. Tigers and Indians in extra innings. This is one reason why I love the summer.

The "dog days" of summer began today by the appearance at sunrise of Sirius, the Dog Star. Enjoy.

Free Enjoyment

How do people enjoy themselves with others?

Talking about what they have in common brings a level of enjoyment. Listening to another person talk about something or someone they love in their life can bring a higher level of enjoyment.

Neither is better but we're more practiced at the first and less at the second - missing out on free enjoyment. I'm working on cashing in on this coupon.

Slowing down at twilight

What is it about slowing down that allows even more "things" to get done?

When I try to squeeze too much into too little time I just stress and freak.

When I intentionally slow down and do less I gain more time which allows me to do more.

And I see the cardinal sitting on the wire, the color of the brick wall, and the fireflies and swallows kissing earth and sky at twilight.

Thanks to all.

Turning fifty

My fiftieth birthday is coming up soon and I think there are two types of people in the world. Those that dread turning fifty and those that more so dread their fiftieth birthday party. I'm not sure which one I am yet.

Truth is here

So little honesty here,
so weary this deception.
Complexity just hides the fear.
Truth is here, breathe it in.

Sostice beginnings

The solstice sun nods,
says hello to moon and stars.
We begin again.

Spring and Summer

For Spring, gratefulness.
For Summer, sunshine and storms.
For now eternal.

Thank you Dad

Thank you Dad for 65 years of putting your children first. That was a commitment you might have found difficult but never waivered on your always trying. And we were trying - all eight of us. I express my gratitude to you almost every day. You know it. Today we all say thank you again.

P.S. Say hi to Mom.

Love, Mark

Calmness

I'm struggling lately with calmness. Or the lack of calmness. What's the opposite? Tension, agitation, irritation, etc.

I know I can only find calmness in this present moment. Got to remember that. Stop searching for it elsewhere.

Changing minds for peace at Lakewood Park

Yesterday was the second annual Change Your Mind Day sponsored by the Cleveland chapter of the Buddhist Peace Fellowship. It was a beautiful afternoon in Lakewood Park spent meditating with leaders from Insight Meditation of Cleveland, Cleveland Shambhala Meditation Group, Zen Rivers and Mountains Order, Flowing Water Sangha and others. Sensei Dean Williams from Jijuyu-ji Zen Group started the afternoon with a dharma talk on inner peace. Christine Siarka guided folks in creating a sand mandala with the theme of the day: "Creating peace and the absence of war, from heart to heart, this I can do." At the end of the day the sand was gathered and deposited into Lake Erie.

Over 70 people from far away as South Russel attended. Many were young folks - in their late teens and twenties, including some who had never meditated before. Thanks.

The site was in the midst of other picnics, parties, baseball games and bike riding. Two children ran by at one point, the younger brother asked, "What are they doing?", to which the older sister replied, "They're meditating stupid." She knew. She'll grow out of the "stupid" phase and hopefully find the meditating phase.

Wendell Berry's wisdom

We Who Prayed and Wept

We who prayed and wept
for liberty from kings
and the yoke of liberty
accept the tyranny of things
we do not need.
In plenitude too free,
we have become adept
beneath the yoke of greed.

Those who will not learn
in plenty to keep their place
must learn it by their need
when they have had their way
and the fields spurn their seed.
We have failed Thy grace.
Lord, I flinch and pray,
send Thy necessity.

Madison Ave. Soul

In a full two-page ad in the New York Times today, Buick claims to have discovered its soul. This alleged discovery took place “on the road to building the finest luxury crossover ever.” What does Buick’s soul consist of? Their soul is “the feeling of comfort and safety, the confidence of power and control and the allure of an enticing machine.”

Hmmm. Nothing about caring for the earth, caring for their employees, or caring for our true search for soul. I think I will pass.

Oh, this soulful car carries the name of Enclave. Sounds more divisive than the soulful work of realizing non-dualism, non-discrimination and peace. But we are at war and corporate advertising will use any means possible to capture our souls. I know I will pass.

Bicycling koan

Does the beauty of bicycling come from the motion of the bike or the person on the bike? They cannot be separated can they?

So, where does the mind reside?

Listening

Would not the world be more beautiful and peaceful if we did not have a response every time someone told us something?

Letters from emptiness

"When you see plum blossoms, or hear the sound of a small stone hitting bamboo, that is a letter from the world of emptiness."
- Shunryu Suzuki Roshi (on the June page of my calendar)


Peonies in June;
Some fallen, all will fall soon.
The ants continue feeding.

Captain Reynold's Zen

From the end of Joss Whedon's movie Serenity, Malcolm Reynolds teaching Summer the lesson of flying the ship Serenity:

"Love. You can learn all the math in the 'verse but you take a boat in the air that you don't love, she'll shake you off just as sure as the turn of the worlds. Love keeps her in the air when she ought to fall down, tells you she's hurting before she keels. Makes her a home."

The earth is our boat. All her inhabitants our crew. Love and listen.

Emerson's roses

"These roses under my window make no reference to former roses or to better ones; they are for what they are; they exist with God today. There is no time for them. There is simply the rose; it is perfect in every moment of its existence. But man (sic) postpones or remembers; he does not live in the present, but with reverted eye laments the past, or heedless of the riches that surround him, stands on tiptoe to forsee the future. He cannot be happy and strong until he too lives with nature in the present, above time."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

(nufsaid)

Whatever we do is a mistake

From a Joan Sutherland interview in the recent issue of Buddhadharma magazine:

"From the koan perspective, that means understanding that whatever we do will in some way be a mistake. There's no right way, so we choose the mistake we feel the greatest affinity with, the one we think is most beautiful or seems like it might help the most. Then we watch and see what happens and we correct and change, based on what we notice. I find it very helpful to hold that idea of everything I do being a mistake. It's provisional and subject to change."

Save the Cheerleader for Starters

"Save the cheerleader, save the world."

If you watch the tv show Heroes you'll know, if not it's too complicated to explain and the details don't matter anyway. (Heroes is now the only tv show I get excited about. Used to be Lost. Used to be X-Files. All are poor replacements for Buffy.)

But it's not that complicated.

• Be generous to those in need - more generous than you know you can be.
• The karma of our actions reaches wide and deep - we impact on the present and all future presents through our thoughts, words and deeds now, so be disciplined.
• Finally, remember the lesson learned from The Wind in the Willows: Be a good friend and be brave.

Change Your Mind Day

On June 10 Cleveland will have its own second annual Change Your Mind Day event. Ten different local Buddhist sanghas (practice communities) will present different practices: sitting meditation, walking meditation, chanting, teachings, and music. We will also create a sand mandala throughout the day - at the end of the day the sand will be collected and strewn in Lake Erie.

Change Your Mind Day is from 12 to 5 at Lakewood Park, at Lake and Belle in Lakewood, on Lake Erie. Potluck begins at noon and the program starts at 1:00. Come to all or part of the program.

Our mind is our sixth sense. Open it up to a Buddhist practice that guides it to change the world.

Find out more on the Cleveland Buddhist Peace Fellowship website: http://members.cox.net/bpfcleveland/

Learning in the Dirt is Cool Change

I worked on Bobbi's garden yesterday, apprenticing to my son in creating raised beds.
What a great experience to learn by doing what Peter told me to do. He imparted his new found knowledge by telling me, "Dig this deep down, turn it over this much deeper, don't bring up the clay, etc." New found because he researched it and used it for his own new "organic intensive" garden.

So I learned why this was a good way to garden: Allowing the roots of vegetables to go deeper, not having to turn the soil as deep for the next three years, and looking cool!

It was also so cool to get dirty while learning from my son. We got dirty together a lot when he was younger. Then we didn't. Then yesterday we did again. Change = cool, huh?

Discipline and Inspiration

My best friend and I were talking about writing for my blog. I was dismayed that I was not writing every day. She thought that unrealistic, observing that inspiration may not come every day. My response is that discipline unveils inspiration.

What discipline? The discipline to be present to what's going on. The discipline to not get caught up in judgment and whining. The discipline to drop limiting concepts.

Inspiration is hidden, not hiding, always. Breathing calls her out. Hello.

Intention to Show up and Sit

At our Southcoast Zen sitting group last night I shared that having the intention to show up for sitting on Monday nights has me make choices and take actions in spite of feelings or circumstances that make for easy excuses to not show up.

It was true for everyone there - flat bike tires, resucing persons with flat bike tires, work schedules, leaving projects in mid-course, finding the Zendog for the first time.

How curious that the intention to show up and sit silently on a cushion would be so powerful in our lives.

As another Zendogite put it - Why don't we bring the same intention to the seemingly more important commitments in our lives?

You and me

If my life is an adventure to discover joy and create love, what does that make you in my life?

Hasselhof vs. True Peace

While I was in the hotel gym this morning CNN "news" was on the television. The formation of the new power-sharing government in Northern Ireland got 30 seconds of coverage. David Hasselhof's drinking problems got 2 minutes. I now wonder how many Americans even know that there is a Northern Ireland. I'm sure that 50% of us are taking delight in a celebrity's problems. I'm doubting my faith in evolution here.

So - here is some short coverage from www.Earthtimes.org of the incredibly historic, joyful and optimistic event in the north of Ireland. (It references 40 years of conflict - the conflict between Ireland and England is almost 1,000 years and running.)

"Belfast - There were smiles and tears of emotion when almost 40 years of bitter conflict between Protestants and Catholics in Northern Ireland were sealed with the formation of an historic power-sharing government in Belfast Tuesday. The hardened men of Northern Ireland politics, Ian Paisley of the staunchly pro-British Democratic Unionists, and Martin McGuinness, a former IRA commander, were seen relaxing over a cup of tea and standing shoulder to shoulder shaking hands of well-wishers. These were pictures, everyone agreed, that would have been unimaginable not so long ago."

Life's circle

In the airport today I watched as a woman held her newborn grandbaby for the first time. Wow.

Haiku string - my family gone

(I have not posted for a week. Life out of balance. Here is a haiku string written on an airplane flying to St. Louis this last Tuesday.)

Missing my father
in the early days of May.
First beers outside back.

Wanting my mother.
Her little one's little ones
miss her this Springtime.

Dear little brother:
You left in early Summer
Not March as they say.

Greenway Abbey

Greenway Abbey

I stopped enchanted by a pool of trees,
A path that knew its course was false.
Our vision shifted to tree reflections
Calling to be seen, to be followed.

I stood enchanted on the pine forest floor.
A face, two eyes, a nose, looked out from
The nearest - old, chants sent upward,
Branches gone, shorter, longer, green.

I sat enchanted above the river basin.
A morning orchestra of birds bursts sudden.
A dry seat for sound and a visit to
Basho’s beaches, mountains and streams.

I turned to the temptation of nonexistence,
Corn stalk cemetery’s lines of silence.
Up! It's time to walk on in true silence,
No longer grasping for endings.
They will come.
They will go.


Genesee Abbey, April 21, 2007

A lotus for you, a Buddha to be.

I've heard this expression before, Thich Nhat Hanh teaches it as a greeting. It is very rich in it's potency and latency - how do I act and talk with another who is a Buddha to be?

What never occurred to me is that joining the palms creates a lotus bud. Duh! What a beautiful way to greet another Buddha to be - with a lotus bud and a bow.

Ven. Nhat Hanh says, "As I bow, mindfulness becomes real in me. Seeing my deep reverence, the person to whom I bow also becomes awake... Suddenly the Buddha in each of us begins to shine, and we are in touch with the present moment."

As Jack R. teaches, only raised consciousness and raise consciousness.

A lotus for you all, Buddhas to be. Gassho.

Haiku by Basho

From "The Narrow Road to the Deep North" (1689)

Turn the head of your horse

Sideways across the field,

To let me hear

The cry of a cuckoo.

Thomas Merton

I spent the weekend at the Genesse Abbey, a Trappist monastery south of Rochester, NY. I'll talk more about this experience later this week. But quickly I want to share a couple of quotes from Thomas Merton's book "Conjectures of a Guilty Bystander". Merton was a Trappist monk and so much more.

"Why can we not be content with an ordinary, secret, personal happiness that does not need to be explained or justified? We fee guilty if we are not happy in some publicly approved way, if we do not imagine that we are meeting some standard of happiness that is recognized by all. God give us the gift and the capacity to make our own happiness out of our own situation. And it is not hard to be happy, simply be accepting what is within reach and making of it what we can. "


"In the long run, no one can show another the error that is within him, unless the other is convinced that his critic first sees and loves the good that is within him. So while we are perfectly willing to tell our adversary that he is wrong, we will never be able to do effectively until we can ourselves appreciate where he is right."

"Love, love only, love of our deluded fellow man as he actually is, in his delusion and in his sin: this alone can open the door to truth."

Grief in a Whole World

I grieve for the students and the family and friends of the V. Tech students who were murdered the other day. Sadness comes from my gut for them. I also grieve with all those associated with V. Tech. I also grieve, in a different way, for the terribly delusioned murderer.

Now - in a whole world I also grieve for 150 residents of Iraq murdered yesterday. And I grieve for the 15 to 30 soldiers killed every month now. And on. In a whole world all these deaths call for grief and for attention to delusions that bring them about.

Jealousy

My son recently described an experience of his to me, an intense meditation experience. I found myself feeling jealousy

(I was able to let it be, let it pass, and it was replaced with pride for him.)

Why do we feel jealous? Some teachers say it is because we are not fully in love with ourselves; that makes sense. It seems to me however that first we need to fully know ourselves, to know our full selves, and to know ourselves fully in each moment. Gods, that seems like it could be a lot of work. But better than the suffering that jealousy brings.

My jealousy yesterday was a doorway to knowing myself fully in that moment and a window to seeing myself more fully in this moment now.

Doorways opening inward
allow spring breezes to push open
doorways opening outward.

Practice and Liturgy

How do we become more compassionate than we often are? Practice.

How do we become more peaceful than we often are? Practice.

How do we ...? The answer ALWAYS is PRACTICE.

My Catholic priest friend Mark Hobson remarked recently to me on how the core of Catholic liturgy is belief and faith-based; and how impressed he was that core of Zen liturgy is practice-based. In fact, from the Zen perspective all of life is liturgy if we are practicing non-judgemental awareness in each moment.

This Habit of "I"

Just as in connection with this form, devoid of self,
My sense of "I" arose through strong habituation,
Why should not the thought of "I",
Through habit, not arise related to another?

- Shantideva, The Way of the Bodhisattva

Kindness and exploration

Meeting strangers with openess while I travel is an invigorating experience. It reaffirms that kindness brings joy and exploration can expand personal horizons.

My taxi driver here in Dallas last night is a member of the Baha'i faith. I learned more about Baha'i in 20 minutes than Wikipedia could ever have taught me, including a personal experience of an incredibly generous response to loss and suffering.

Ruben, who just brought my breakfast into my hotel room now is professional and kind despite working a job since 6:00 this morning; one that I would run away from.

Where and when today can I offer kindness and the opening for another person to expand their horizon of what they thought was possible in the world?

Snowfall on Easter day

Snowfall on Easter day,
Sparrows back at the feeders.
Nomi's way is blocked.

Stabat mater dolorosa

Yesterday I was listening to music on my headphones in Talkies. When the music I queued up was done playing the next song automatically played. It was the medieval hymn Stabat Mater

Stabat mater dolorosa is Latin for "the sorrowful mother was standing." It is a meditation on Mary's suffering during her son's crucifixion. A timely meditation on Good Friday. The full text of the hymn (http://www.shrinesf.org/stabatmater.htm) gets overly theological for me, not being Christian, but the music is so beautiful.

What I always remember about Good Friday is the response of the wonder that was Jesus to this painful, unjust death. He said, "Father forgive them, for they know not what they do." What if we all, Christian and non-christian alike, took this as the message of the Easter season?

Comfort horizons

These extra couple days of winter don't seem so bad knowing that Spring will be back soon. That's a time horizon to which I can attach hope. A comfort horizon.

How does that work? I have different length comfort horizons for different future events. My three o'clock in the afternoon doldrums will be over by six, that's easy. My chronic nerve condition will last until death, also easy. But in the midst of Winter it is so hard for my body and emotions to hold onto hope.

Maybe trust is the secret.

Winter's last kiss is
cute, maybe affectionate.
Trust her, she'll be back.

Waning gibbous

I did not see her
Waning gibbous late last night.
Shall I say goodbye?

10 Steps to Happiness

A group of UK social scientists tested out ten steps to happiness in Slough, England. Slough is about 20 miles west of London and a diverse but economically challenged city of some 120,000. (The British comedy "The Office" is set in Slough.) The experts called their 3 month experiment a success.

At any rate here at The 10 Steps to Happiness:

• Plant something and nurture it
• Count your blessings - at least five - at the end of each day
• Take time to talk - have an hour-long conversation with a loved one each week
• Phone a friend whom you have not spoken to for a while and arrange to meet up
• Give yourself a treat every day and take the time to really enjoy it
• Have a good laugh at least once a day
• Get physical - exercise for half an hour three times a week
• Smile at and/or say hello to a stranger at least once a day
• Cut your TV viewing by half
• Spread some kindness - do a good turn for someone every day

I say add some meditation and some Van Morrison and make it an even dozen.

Check it out: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/4436482.stm

Fascinated by sadness

I am both captured by and fascinated with sadness of late. I can't escape it and instead of moping around in it, as had been my habit, I've been expressing it. In the expression there is unveiled a depth to the sadness inside of which I often appreciate what I find - not only real reasons for being sad but also other emotions mixed in, mostly appreciative ones: affection, longing, even joy.

An obsolete use of the word fascinated is "bewitched" - for me the being caught in moping. The current use can included "enthralled." Isn't it interesting for one to be enthralled by sadness. I love these seemingly contradictory meanings. They are great for haiku. They are true for life.

Walking away

Walking away brings
realization of ways
in the mist, both front and back.

Ancestors and loved ones

When we hold our ancestors and loved ones who have died in a heart filled with gratefulness, we experience them as before us, not behind us, outside of linear time. Thus we continue to receive their love and guidance; perhaps in ways we were never open to when they lived. Even if we did not know them.

Simply call on their names, say, "Thank you", and open your heart.

No Self and the Enneagram

There are nine basic types of us folks in the Enneagram's approach to humanity. At the training I attended with Jan Kious last Sunday she had a chart: a circle of nine colors radiating from the center with corresponding nine numbers on the perimeter. In the center the colors came to white.

One way of thinking on this chart is that as we each work on our wholeness, first accepting how we naturally occur, then integrating healthy aspects of the other eight types - we reach the white center on the color chart.

It occurred to me yesterday that from a Buddhist point of view, the way that we realize the white wholeness is to accept and experience the interconnectedness of reality as it presents itself in all people. Realizing that the boundaries of "our self" are self-imposed, the more we open to all the folk around us that exhibit all nine types, we experience wholeness. Not only don't we exist separately, in fact, we cannot be whole in our separate selves no matter how much work we do on our "self".

Skillfully I will work to open to my full Small Self and also open to the Big Self in all others, realizing the white joy of wholeness.

The Enneagram

Yesterday I attended a workshop on the Enneagram. I was joined by my wife and son, Bobbi and Peter. What a great honor it is to be with my family while doing personal learning and sharing. May all husbands and parents have this blessing.

Jan Kious from our Southcoast Zen Meditation Group lead the workshop. For those interested in the Enneagram Jan leads a six hour workshop once a month on a Sunday.

I learned a number of darn useful things about myself. For example, the good news: I AM ALWAYS RIGHT, which I already knew; the sobering news: THAT'S ONLY IN MY HEAD.

More to come on this topic.

Come outside yourself

The orange cresent moon
is setting - Spring she calls us:
"Come outside yourself."

Thank you Steve Jobs

Thank you Steve Jobs;
No, thanks to ideas and workers.
Van on my I-Pod!

What are you grateful for today?

This morning I had a test at Lutheran Hospital then walked to Talkies and had coffee and a bagel. I observed with gratefulness the following:
1. The love of my wife who got in the car in her pjs and drove me to the hospital.
2. The crescent moon in the southern sky.
3. A security guard who greeted me and talked about the "old days" in the Detroit Shoreway neighborhood.
4. A radiology technician who explained everything possible to me and answered my questions with friendliness.
5. An adult woman with Downs Syndrome who flashed me a 1.5 second smile in passing.
6. The rising sun reflected on downtown buildings.
7. The beginning of a BEAUTIFUL March day in Cleveland!
8. The ever present smile of Kate at Talkies.
9. The joy that listening to U2 brings me.
10. My deep fondness for my two children, both of whom are out of town for spring break right now.
11. My freedom to write anything I desire on this blog and the freedom of all bloggers, writers and journalists in this country. (A 22 year old Egyptian was just sentenced to 4 years in prison for "insulting Islam and Egypt's president.")
12. Did I mention the joy that listening to U2 brings me?

All this was just in the first hour out the door. How much more will the day present me if I am willing to be aware and awake to it?

What are you grateful for this minute?

Zen and Guaranteed Happiness

Reb Anderson Roshi writes beautifully in "Being Upright" on the precept of Not Praising Self at the Expense of Others. This is such a great example of how Buddhist teaching leads to practice which will lead to happiness - guaranteed!

First some essential Buddhist-speak:
"This is not to say that there is no self, it's just that there is no independent self. The self exists only in dependence upon mind and its objects. When you clearly observe the dependent co-arising of self, mind and objects, the belief in a self independent of mind and objects drops away."

Now the beauty that Reb leads us to:
"Being relieved of such narrow vision we joyfully and gratefully observe how any praiseworthy qualities that manifest through our beings are entirely due to the kind support of others. With such vision it is not possible to praise self without mention of the virtue of others. Freed from the belief in an independent self, we first notice and then praise the virtue of others. IS THERE ANY GREATER HAPPINESS THAN THIS?"

Thank you to Lynne Brakeman for hosting the precepts study group that reads and reflects upon Reb's book once a month.

Most important reminder

Breathe. Breathe again.

Zen in relationships

I remembered the other day that part of Zen practice is "taking the step back." Being very human I have negative, unskilful reactions to things that other people do and say. The unskillful way to have such a reaction is to go with it and be caught up in it like a net that drags me along to further negative consequences - anger, jealousy, irritation - you know.

The skillful way is to take a step back and see the reaction for just what it is - my emotions living their life with no regard for my wholeness. Part of the stepping back is to make no judgement of the reaction, not judging it as negative or positive; and not judging me for having it in the first place.

On Monday I was able to do this by seeing my reaction and saying to myself, "Isn't that interesting"; and then seeing what was next. A simple but powerful skill for bringing awareness. Last night I got caught in the net and totally forgot, that is, WAS NOT AWAKE, to the ability and skill for stepping back and simply seeing it as interesting. That's being human. My Zen practice is to take steps to heal the incident and begin the practice again. That's also being human.

Creating a New Christianity

I'm reading retired Episcopal bishop John Shelby Spong's book "A New Christianity for a New World."

In it he writes, "The time has come to create a new thing. Not a new religious coping device that will enable us to bank the fires of hysteria for another generation, but a new way to affirm self-consciousness as an asset and to seek within it that which is timeless, eternal, real and true."

And, "No more existential concern has ever faced those who have walked our evolutionary path." "The time has surely come when human beings must begin a new exploration into the divine, must sketch out a vision of the holy that is beyond theism but not beyond the reality for which the word God was created to point."

Wow. I'm not a Christian but I could not agree more. Affirming self-consciousness as an asset is certainly a basis of my Zen practice. More to come from the bishop.

Ven. Thich Nhat Hanh's letter to Pres. Bush

Please take a listen to the Venerable Thich Nhat Hanh as he talks about a dream of his and the subsequent letter he sent to President Bush about the wars in the Middle East. He calls it a "love letter". He writes: "Mr. President, I think that if you could allow yourself to cry as I did this morning, you will fee much better." And, "with some awakening, we can see things in a different way, and this will allow us to respond differently to the situation."
http://www.bpfradio.org/audiopages/0906-thichNhatHahn/0906-thichNhatHahn.html

On the Buddhist Peace Fellowship website, you can also listen to Ven. Nhat Hanh talk about the writing of this letter and his belief that even Mr. Bush has the seat of Buddha nature in him, God in him. Amen.

Authentic Zen

Our experiment at Southcoast Zen Meditation Group:
"The process of Zen finding roots in Western soil is an ongoing one. Cultural, economic and psychological conditions are different in the West. One cannot become a practitioner of Zen just by imitating the way of eating, sitting, or dressing of Chinese or Japanese practitioners. Zen is life, Zen does not imitate. If Zen is to fully take root in the West, it must acquire a Western form, different from Oriental Zen"
- Thich Nhat Hanh in Zen Keys -

Zen is and are

Zen is not magic -
but Magic is Zen.

Zen and Gratitude are sister and brother.

Spring sans loyalty

Shall I let her in,
Spring that enters sans loyalty?
Ha, the door's open.

Riding the Bus

I rode the bus yesterday. It was a route I had not taken before. I like the selflessness that is available in riding public transport - being anonymous as one of many such others and being present to the experience. I find the "suchness" of experience that Buddhists talk about. At the same time I see the suffering of others that seems obvious: mothers yelling at children, swearing at them, belittling teenage daughters - "If you wouldn't have opened your god damned legs you wouldn't have this baby would you?"

How to be present to this suffering without judgement? As Jack from our Southcoast Zen Meditation Group says, simply being in the conscious state of awareness is the best gift to those around you who may not be in that state.

Sayings of Jewish Buddhists

I got these off http://mostboringblogever.blogspot.com

If there is no self, whose arthritis is this?

Wherever you go, there you are. Your luggage is another story.

There is no escaping karma. In a previous life, you never called, you never wrote, you never visited. And whose fault was that?

Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. Forget this and attaining Enlightenment will be the least of your problems.

Be aware of your body. Be aware of your perceptions. Keep in mind that not every physical sensation is a symptom of a terminal illness.

The Torah says, Love your neighbor As yourself. The Buddha says, There is no self. So, maybe we're off the hook.

Haiku Master

No oil to read by?
Off I am to bed - Ah,
Moonlit Pillow!

- Bassho, 1644-1694

Lost my Roles

No not rolls, roles. Ram Dass in "Still Here" writes of the loss of meaning that often occurs in one's life as we age and loss our common roles - father, son, worker. I am experiencing just this, having lost both my parents and with both my children moving from home over the past two years. It's a hard transition I can tell you, some confusion, some depression, some anxiety. Dass writes that, "The sooner we begin cultivating a mind that can work with heavy mental states as meaninglessness and depression, the better able we will be, later on, to escape them" Being present is the key once again.

Uncaused Happiness
Uncaused happiness,
Snow-caused beauty tears; the same.
Both now, one present.


This haiku was inspired by a dharma-discussion at Southcoast Meditation Group

Not my heart today

Curled like the cat,
warm by virtue of release;
not my heart today.